Mountains & Me

I don't like mountain climbing or hiking or death wishes or whatever you want to call it. I don't. They're not fun for me. I don't "enjoy the process" or "take in the view" or whatever.

So then why the heck do I keep going on these stupid hikes?????????????


I thought about it, and there are two reasons:

1) I don't like being left out. If something is happening, I want to do it to.
2) If I didn't do it, it would be because I thought I couldn't. And the second I think I can't do something, I HAVE TO DO IT to prove to myself that I can. I don't like people telling me what I can & can't do - even if the "people" are inside my head.

So I climbed a mountain today. It was HUGE! The hike started a 5:40am and went until I was about 30 seconds from death. PLUS it was a whole bunch of supper fit Chris-like kids that were all "let's run it!" Ridiculous.

Luckily I had a patient budy (Marian!!!) who was about my pace. . . okay, she made herself about my pace so that I wouldn't feel bad (don't you just love people like that?).

And we eventually made it to the top! Hurray!!!

The whole time up, I kept thinking "What is WRONG with me?!" I think of all the dumb mountains that I climb - Machu Piccu in Peru, the tallest mountain in Ghana, even just the little one we did a little bit ago here - and I DON'T LIKE THEM.

But I knew what kept me pushing forward.

It's the sumit.

Not necessarily looking around the summit. The views are usually nice, but, today for example, I was a little distracted trying not to keel over that didn't really notice anything but the blurr of green.

Nope, it's the feeling of reaching the summit. Of knowing that I did it. Of knowing that I did something that, if I had all the information in the beginning about how hellish the hike would have been, I wouldn't have thought that I could do. Knowing that something was physically and mentally difficult, but that I did it.

I just feel. . . powerful. Empowered.

It's addicting.

And as grueling as the hike was, I would do it again. I mean, not in the FUTURE I wouldn't (hell no!), but if I could go back to yesterday and talk to the me that was debating wheter or not she should go, I would tell her to go.

I'm so impressed with myself for making it to the top. (Does that sound conceded? Hmm. . . I don't care. You have to give credit where credit is due, and I deserve credit).

It was one of the hardest climbs I've ever done. And I did it.

=-)