Sloths, Conflict, & Communism

Hey everyone. This entry may end up being cut short because class starts soon, but right now I have to stay at the computer because I'm trying to make a zip file and it's downloading and I feel like if I leave, the computer will fall asleep and I'll have to start ALL OVER. And that could take awhile. So I thought I'd blog for a bit until I have to go to class.

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Change of plans. (it's 5 minutes later from the line above). I am now quitting the zip file zipping (it says it's going to take MORE time than it said 5 minutes ago, and it won't finish before school anyways). So instead of blogging, I'm going to go find coffee. Maybe I'll be able to get back on here during lunch. . . or maybe I'll sleep in a hammock. Either way, I'll finish this entry today. Because I really do want to talk about sloths, conflict, and communism.

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It's now lunch time and I am (again) in the computer lounge waiting for stuff to load. So now I'll write.

Part I: Sloths
I saw some sloths this weekend, which was awesome. It would have been a little more awesome if they were wild and out in nature (we were at the "Peace Lodge" and it was like a fancy zoo. Apparently there's good reasons for the animals being there. . . rehabilitation or something), but I'll take what I can get. This whole weekend was a lot of fun! Saturday we went up to a volcano, which was cool, and then over to the Peace Lodge where we saw sloths and butterflies and jaguars and other cool animals. And had a delicious lunch. And did other cool stuff.

And YESTERDAY we went rafting, which was AWESOME! Super, duper fun. Here's a little tip for when you go rafting (one that I've mastered): don't choose your boat, choose your GUIDE. I chose (and convinced some people I like to choose) Kevin. He was great. Super funny and super fun. At one point, he had one side of the boat sit backwards so that when we all paddled, we would spin in circles. He let us, one by one, "ride the bull" down some of the smaller rapids, meaning sit on the front of the boat and hold on with one arm. He told us all the places that were calm that we could jump out and swim along side the boat. He let us jump off a big rock into the river! (none of the other boats got to do that). He showed me which trees the sloths live in (. . . as hard as I looked, I never saw one. But that wasn't his fault). Basically, he was awesome. I think everyone had a really great time - even if they weren't on our boat.

At the end of the trip, we had the options to buy photos. We could either divide it between boats (each boat pays $40 and gets all the pictures/videos taken of their boat) or divide it between everyone (everyone pays $6 and gets all the pictures of everyone). This leads me to my next topic: communism. (Apparently I'm rearranging topics).

Part II: Communism
I wouldn't say that I was ever a "communist," but I did see the value in it. Working together for the betterment of the community, everyone doing their own part, etc. etc. . . . It sounds nice. A little utopian, perhaps, but it still sounded nice. And perhaps. . . possible?

But I get it now! I get why it won't work!

When we were deciding how to do pictures, I asked everyone "who really, really doesn't want to pay for pictures." There were 5 people, so we just took them out and had everyone pay $7 for everything instead of $6. Still a pretty good deal. But then later a girl, let's call her Barbie, was talking and she said, "I just feel bad, because I know I'm going to get the pictures or someone else is going to put them of facebook or something, but I just don't want to pay for them." (For the record, it was said more whiney than sincere). In my head, I replied, "Well there are two ways to make yourself feel better: a) pay for what you're getting, or b) don't take it when it's offered to you, untag yourself from pictures, whatever." I didn't say that, though, because I knew Barbie would be defensive and not at all receptive to what I had to say. Instead I kept my mouth shut, and I'm glad I did because that's when Jamie (one of the leaders on the trip) said something super simple: "Well, that's communism."

AND NOW I GET IT. The reason why communism would never work is because it involves PEOPLE.

I expect people to be willing to work for the betterment of the group, or for the benefit of other people, witht he expectation of "what goes around comes around," because that's basically how I work. But I forget that I'm not everyone, and that's not how people work in general. I didn't really care about the pictures, but I know that for some people it was really important to them, and they wouldn't be able to do it unless the whole group pitched in. So I pitched in. I know that Barbie could have done it, even if it wasn't super convenient, because I'll bet you anything that if that trip cost $96 instead of $90, she would have still been there. But people (in general, not just Barbie) live by the mentality of "What do I want, how can I get it, and how will this benefit me?" And this totally isn't a judgement call on my part. We all have our different vices, we all have our different experiences that make us the way we are, & if you're feeling defensive, it means that I've said something wrong because that wasn't my intention at all.

My intention was to share my realization that people will put their own needs/wants over the needs/wants of the group. Somehow, in my last 21 years, I missed that! So that's all I'm going to say about that. Moving on.

Part III: Conflict
Ironically, I think studying here at the University for Peace has taught me more about conflict than about peace. So often at Berkeley I hear PACS (Peace & Conflict Studies)kids say, "well, why don't they just solve it diplomatically?" or "why don't they just talk it out" or "if we could just get the leader in a room together, we'll be able to solve everything."

Nope.

I am surprised about the level of communication skills. Or rather, lack there of. These are some of the brightest undergraduate and graduate students in this field, and you put us in a room together and give us a subject . . . AND NOTHING GETS DONE!

Why?

Because nobody is listening. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO frustrating. I just want to yell at people, "Shut up! We've heard your opinion 14 thousand times. We get it! We know what you think! Just shut up for 10 minutes and listen to what the other people have to say!" (wow, apparently inside my head is really angry). Of course I'm not speaking about everyone in the program, but I feel like a lot of people come in with a plan to show everyone why their solution is the right one, or why their way of thinking about a problem is the correct one. When other people are talking, they're not listening. They're thinking about what they're going to say next. If they ARE listening, they're listening to figure out how to rebuttel. THIS ISN'T DEBATE CAMP! WE'RE ON THE SAME SIDE! People cut each other off, shoot down each other's solutions, don't let people talk. . . it's embarrassing.

No wonder states go to war when they have a conflict! Here are kids that are all on the same side trying to solve the same problems, and we can't communicate! How could you possibly expect leaders of countries who are far more embedded in their way of thinking and invested in the results of the negotiation to do anything more than argue, when all we do is argue ourselves?

(But it's secret arguing. Not much yelling, mostly this phrase: "That's interesting, but. . ." Translating to, "What you said was dumb, here's the right answer. . ."

On the one hand, I'm excited for our future, because if these are the leaders of tomorrow, there's one thing that you can deffintely say about them: they're passionate about good causes. On the other hand, though, it makes me kind of nervous that everyone keeps yelling, "Communication! That's the way to solve the world's problems!!!!" . . . yet it seems like nobody knows how to communicate.

Everyone here knows SO much, and I am SO enjoying being able to sit it a room with so much wisdom and experience (even if it is being shot across the room like bullets) and soak it all up. And I'm (DEFINITELY!!!!) not saying I'm a perferct communicator. But I do wish that people would recognize that we have two ears and one mouth, and they should be used proportionatley.